There's a popular theory that friends from the internet aren't really friends at all. I subscribe to it myself. I've been heard to make disparaging remarks along the lines of "Anyone who says he has a thousand facebook friends means he has no real ones."
And I believe it, really I do. I mean those people I know by cryptic screen names from message boards and chatrooms, they aren't real people, are they? For them to be real you have to have met them. Self-penned profiles notwithstanding, they could be anybody.
The trouble is that I've had to do a bit of reassessment. Someone I have corresponded with on the internet, that I know solely through interacting with him through message boards and chatrooms, died a few days ago.
I found out about his death because a mutual friend, a friend who has actually met both of us in real life, was concerned that we hadn't heard from him recently and went to a lot of trouble to find out if he was OK. He wasn't. He was in hospital with terminal cancer. And then in a hospice. And then dead. And I felt just as much a sense of loss as if someone I see every day had died. But that isn't possible, is it? As I said internet friends aren't real. Obviously some of them are.
I've corresponded on and off with Jerry for a couple of years. I've found him to be, by turns, witty, wise, a great writer, a shameless recycler of old jokes and utterly incomprehensible. He's sent me some of his writings to read, and then, because I badgered him endlessly about it, some more. They had the style of a true raconteur, a man who knew who to pace an anecdote to perfection. He was also kind enough to say that he very much enjoyed my writing. I don't know if he ever actually finished reading the book that I made available on the internet but I know he'd read most of it, and commented kindly about it.
Of his life I know very little other than that he felt it had been full. He was widely-travelled, though now living in Hawaii. He had a great (if sometimes rather weird) sense of humour.
He was a friend. Just one I'd never met. And though it feels a little strange to be saying it about someone I knew only from the internet, I'm going to miss our chats. I guess internet friends can be as real as real ones after all.
And I believe it, really I do. I mean those people I know by cryptic screen names from message boards and chatrooms, they aren't real people, are they? For them to be real you have to have met them. Self-penned profiles notwithstanding, they could be anybody.
The trouble is that I've had to do a bit of reassessment. Someone I have corresponded with on the internet, that I know solely through interacting with him through message boards and chatrooms, died a few days ago.
I found out about his death because a mutual friend, a friend who has actually met both of us in real life, was concerned that we hadn't heard from him recently and went to a lot of trouble to find out if he was OK. He wasn't. He was in hospital with terminal cancer. And then in a hospice. And then dead. And I felt just as much a sense of loss as if someone I see every day had died. But that isn't possible, is it? As I said internet friends aren't real. Obviously some of them are.
I've corresponded on and off with Jerry for a couple of years. I've found him to be, by turns, witty, wise, a great writer, a shameless recycler of old jokes and utterly incomprehensible. He's sent me some of his writings to read, and then, because I badgered him endlessly about it, some more. They had the style of a true raconteur, a man who knew who to pace an anecdote to perfection. He was also kind enough to say that he very much enjoyed my writing. I don't know if he ever actually finished reading the book that I made available on the internet but I know he'd read most of it, and commented kindly about it.
Of his life I know very little other than that he felt it had been full. He was widely-travelled, though now living in Hawaii. He had a great (if sometimes rather weird) sense of humour.
He was a friend. Just one I'd never met. And though it feels a little strange to be saying it about someone I knew only from the internet, I'm going to miss our chats. I guess internet friends can be as real as real ones after all.
1 comment:
Yea, I know what you mean. One of the hardest things I've found in this loss is that no one I know in my day-to-day life really understands the loss. My family didn't know him online, even. Sigh. A nice tribute, Bob.
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