Open Letter To A Moron

I don't know you.

It's quite possible that, sober, you are a normal decent fellow.

I rather doubt it as, drunk, you are clearly a moron.

It seems that you believe that the height of sophisticated wit is to get drunk, drive around late at night at high speed and throw eggs at random pedestrians. The one that hit me, hit me in the face, smashing on my chin and then going on to stain my jacket. The chin is bruised. The jacket will cost me a few quid to dry clean. You are doubtless tickled pink by how funny this all is. 

Let me suggest that four inches higher and I would now be blind in my right eye. You might still think it amusing. Or perhaps, I like to think the best of people, you would be horrified at what you had done. Most likely you are just shrugging and saying that it wasn't four inches higher, was it? That's not the point. There will come a time when some poor unfortunate is walking home. minding his  or her own business, when it is four inches higher, when a bruise and a bill are not the only  consequences.

I like to think that I'm not a vindictive person, but it's within all of us, I just hope that before the day comes  that you wrap your car around a lamp post while trying to hit someone with an egg, you manage to grow up and grow a brain.

Moron.