Well there are spoilers and SPOILERS

I just read a review of the Green Lantern movie that started by saying that it contained "some spoilers". Fortunately I had seen the film this afternoon because what it meant by "some spoilers" was that it would spend a dozen paragraphs giving what amounted to a scene by scene description of the film followed by a fifty word review.

Glad I didn't read it before I'd seen the film.

So, here we go.

WARNING: ALTHOUGH NOT CONTAINING PLOT SPOILERS WHAT FOLLOWS CONTAINS MY OPINION OF THE FILM. IF YOU WOULD PREFER NOT TO KNOW MY OPINION STOP READING NOW!

As I say I saw it this afternoon. Unlike Thor the bits intended for 3D weren't so in your face that they bothered me. I hardly even  noticed them. So that's a plus. Sadly it's one of the few pluses I could find. The CGI effects were well enough done. So that's another. If I think of a third I'll let you know.

The movie is inescapably and undeniably dull. It's about as uninvolving a movie as I've seen for a very long time. I'd say that the plot has holes but it's more a case of there being so many holes that it's hard to locate the plot at all. There are frequent bits that look as if they might have made sense in earlier drafts of the script but make little or no sense in what reached the screen. Even the CGI sequences lack any sense of drama and the bits that fill the gaps between the CGI are trite, cliched and unconvincing.

Nobody actually turns in a bad performance but then again nobody turns in a brilliant performance either and it would take a staggering performance to overcome the shortcomings of the script. I'm always suspicious of movies that do great wads of exposition in the form of a voice over or as characters delivering lectures rather than dialogue and this one does both.

So, a major disappointment all round.

I'll go off now and re-watch the famous faux-trailer on You Tube. 

Now that would have been a great movie.